The bright side of hectic

I picked up some colleagues from the airport the other day whom I'd seen just two weeks ago in Texas, yet it feels like it had been months. Such has been these last two weeks--hitting the ground running, raising the bar for myself, and (well above and beyond all that) watching God line up mini-miracles each day.

I'm explosively happy to be back in Liberia, home, after three and a half wonderful months with, well, the rest of the world. With many of you.

Last night I was telling a friend what I want in life -- roots, community, love and support. And that led me to realize how much life has changed in the three years I've been here. My first trip here, it was just four of us camping out in a big empty house, sleeping on the floor -- didn't have much to offer, didn't know many people, just learning and doing and growing each day. Now, I have roots here. Real community. I have my people. My team is great at what they do. I have a immensely (and equally) challenging and rewarding job. It's still life on a submarine, in a sense--everything in common, no secrets, the good/bad/ugly--but it's become my real life, and I love it. I really love it.

Now, I hesitate to say this; it's not to glorify myself, I just don't want you to misunderstand me: this is hard. Children are sick, skinny, robbed, given away, used, exploited, abused, all but crushed. Adults are lazy, corrupt, mean, hotheaded, selfish and greedy. The country is broken. The healing (while substantial) is still so superficial. They fixed the roads, sure, but there's still the crooked cop cheating a taxi driver out of $0.17 to get through his pylons.

Corruption is called friendship, and everybody's friendly.

What I love is the deep and abiding satisfaction of being right where I'm supposed to be, and that I get to do it with vibrant, deeply loving people. So many of you have been asking me, recently and for three years now, How long are you going to do this? The answer I'm not sure of. I'm thrilled that God called me here, where He knew I'd thrive; but I hope I would go wherever He called me next, Africa or Canada or Space. All I know is, when I follow Him, it always seems to get better...so I can't wait.

Finally, I just have to celebrate two amazing facts: Elena (an old high school friend recently rediscovered) has joined ORR full-time, and just got to Liberia. (Check her blog here) And secondly, another couple, both very close friends from elementary school, are coming in February! I've finally managed to export Huntsville to Liberia, the best of both worlds!! :)

Back to the grindstone

After a crazy and fantastic three and a half months criss-crossing North America (11,000km / 7,000 mi of solo driving!), I'm finally back home in Liberia. The roosters, the roar of the diesel generator, the heat: it's good to be home.

Even before getting on the plane, but especially since arriving, I've been overwhelmed once again by the privilege of being here. Working and sharing life with such incredible people, serving such joyful children, the isolated beauty of this place.

The year ahead will likely be difficult: there is an enormous amount of work to do in a short time, and in the midst of many transitions. But my gut says it's all going to work out, and fly by, and be blessed.

Liberia's still broken but healing, corrupt but optimistic, unhappy but joyful. Back to work.

Sure, the beach might be the national bathroom. But somehow, 'unspoilt' is still the only word that comes to mind!

Vacation, Episode II

On to September: In an effort to reduce all the traveling I did last year, I split my month in Canada into three. Part one was Huntsville, my little hometown in the woods. Apparently I brought with me the best weather of the whole summer, and I capitalized with backyard BBQs and sunbathing by the river, just like the good ol' days. Part two was camping and then marrying off my best friend, Braden. It was a pleasure to spend a week with him and Melissa, and a great privilege to stand at his side as he took the plunge. Part three was all about family, and I had an amazing time staying with my sister, brother, and finally with my parents.

The whole family (minus Scott--missed you, Bro) even opted to have Thanksgiving a couple of weeks early on account of me. Man, I forgot how good turkey and cranberry is!

Seriously, though. I have SO much to be thankful for. Family and friends, health and strength, a job that's also a calling. There's only one word for it: I feel downright spoiled.

Thank you to everyone that dropped what you were doing to make time for me. I thoroughly enjoyed catching up. I miss you all so much through the year. Thanks for your gracious approach to adopting an hour-a-year friendship with me. Wish it were more. (Oh, and if you have photos of our time together, I don't -- send 'em over!)

Vacation, Episode I

Ok, here goes. So much to tell, so few photos to tell it with! Let's begin at the end of August, when I had a huge dream come true: I got to visit Gifty and her amazing family. Now, they had warned me that I wouldn't recognize my little monster -- but WOW, she is enormous. So big, so healthy -- so much like a child her age. When she left Liberia, she was a one-hander. She could balance quite happily with her giant belly, though she lacked the strength to sit up or crawl, let alone stand. Well, I arrived in her second week of walking, and it was absolutely heartbreaking to see her screaming around, boss of the world. What a thrill.

It took me back to that first night with her in the hospital. Understand, I'm not a baby person. I wouldn't know if a diaper's inside out or not. So here's this eleven-and-a-half pound, 20-month-old girl, by all accounts just a few days from her end--not even enough strength to cry. No idea what to do--so I did what everyone does in a situation like that. I began bargaining with God. I paced the halls of the hospital for hours that night, singing to and praying over Gifty, promising God that if only He would heal her, deliver her, I would do anything.

Fast forward eight months, and there I am trying to lift a 27 pounder out of her crib. She's looking at me with a scrunched up nose, and I'm wondering if she remembers. She's experimenting with sounds, and she's fluent in all the sign language she needs. Most importantly, she's got a very loving extended family, and really the entire town -- anywhere I pushed her stroller, people would lean out of their cars to ask how she was doing. Amazing! Just look at her now:

Gettin' gone

I'm back!! My week -- or almost two -- in the monastery in Virginia was fantabulous. Absolutely amazing to live among such humble, hospitable people. Amazing to learn some classic disciplines in a very liberating environment, while also experiencing the structure (and the freedom therein) of liturgy, as we met three times a day as a community for prayer.

I had no idea what to expect, going in -- but it was exactly what I needed after eleven months in the field.

Last day in the office today. Leaving in the pre-dawn for Wisconsin -- I'll be visiting first with churches and friends in Wisconsin Rapids and Appleton and Madison, then spending a few days catching up with Gifty's family. (YESS!!!) Please pray for safe travels!

September I'll be all over Ontario--in Huntsville for Labor Day weekend, in Ottawa for my best friend's wedding, then in Toronto and London with as many of my awesome friends and family as I can pack in. (Here's to couchsurfing!)

October, I've pushed back my return to Liberia to allow me more time to travel and share the stories of all the craziness that God is doing through ORR. So in October I'll be in Georgia at first, then in Texas and Louisiana -- BUT I do have a couple more Sundays if anyone out there would like me to come and share!

It's been really fun being back, I have to say. Re-entry has been easier this time, and I'm told by close friends around me that I seem calmer and more at peace than on past returns. The thing I notice most is that I'm less anxious, especially about future stuff. I feel great; I feel free.

Hope with me

One last thing I forgot before I disappear. Please pray for Gifty's potential live donor; they're flying down for a big day of tests coming up next week. Gifty's healthy and happy and heavy, but she still needs this liver. Please pray that the tests would go well, that they would both be healthy and a great match. Just pray that God would throw down one last miracle in this crazy story. 

And with that, here's my girl...

Disappearing awhile

I'm leaving today for a week-long retreat in a monastery, a much-needed re-focusing exercise. Then, out of the blue, this poem landed in my inbox this morning. Enjoy, and see you later.

Flickering Mind

Denise Levertov

Not for one second
will my self hold still, but wanders
anywhere,
everywhere it can turn. Not you,
it is I am absent.
You are the stream, the fish, the light,
the pulsing shadow,
you the unchanging presence, in whom all
moves and changes.
How can I focus my flickering, perceive
at the fountain's heart
the sapphire I know is there?